Pursuing Happiness
Whatever you pursue, don’t do it alone
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“One is never as unhappy as one thinks, nor as happy as one hopes.”
— La Rouchfoucauld, 1664
March 20 is the United Nations’ International Day of Happiness and this year’s theme is “Happier Together.”
Along with life and liberty, the pursuit of happiness is a self-evident truth, according to Thomas Jefferson.
But make sure you read the fine print: it’s not happiness that’s guaranteed; just the pursuit of it. And therein lies the difficulty.
The attainment of happiness is always the challenge, isn’t it? And we don’t make it any easier on ourselves when we predicate our expectation of happiness by how we measure it.
When we say to ourselves “I’ll be happy when…” we’re making it dependent on some external achievement. This was the theme of an episode of Timeless Leadership:
Episode 50: If Only
Thinking about the conversation with Laura Gassner Otting in Episode 49, I was struck by our human desire to put a definition on success, and oftentimes, never being satisfied. Kind of like how we constantly chase happiness, promising ourselves that “if only” we achieve a certain milestone, we’ll be happy.
“Human happiness never remains long in the same place.”
— Herodotus, c. 430 BC
People are always looking for the secret to happiness. That’s why Habits of Happy and Successful People is one of the most popular entries of this newsletter.
Who doesn’t want to be happy? More importantly, who doesn’t want to make other people happy?
As leaders, the well-being of the people we care about — our friends, our family, our employees — should be intertwined with our own.
By spreading joy and happiness to others, we increase our own joy.
A Formula for Happiness
Even before Jeremy Bentham wrote his own treatise on utilitarianism, Enlightenment scholars were attempting to quantify a happy life.
In the 18th century, Glasgow professor Francis Hutcheson offered an equation for benevolence, defined as the desire to spread happiness to others, where b = benevolence, a = ability, s = self-love, i = interest, and m = moment of good.
His formula:
ba = m + sa = m + i,
and therefore
b = (m + i)/a.
The late Dr. Edward Diener was known as “Dr. Happiness,” with his pioneering research into what defined contentedness. His work stood out in the field because so much of psychological research centered on misery, fear, and sadness.
He said happiness as a field of study “sounds flaky, kind of frivolous,” but time and again, it underscored that the basis of happiness is the relationships we forge.
And that thesis continues to be backed up. The Wall Street Journal recently looked at the Harvard Study of Adult Development, noting that it found that personal connections are the most important factor in long-term health and happiness.
Which brings me back to the theme of “Happier Together.”
Nothing we accomplish in this world is done in isolation. Working together (it’s what I speak about and work with executives on), building memories together, and just being together make all the difference.
Who are you pursuing happiness with?
There’s so much to learn,
P.S.
This follow-up piece, available to members of the Ampersand Guild, has interesting and helpful links about happiness. You can join to connect & learn more.
Cue The Turtles!