Finding Your Principles and Purpose
When we know what they are, it shapes our behavior
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“What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for others?”
— George Eliot, 1871
So much of leadership is simply about thinking of other people. Life is about thinking of other people.
In the previous entry1, I wrote:
By spreading joy and happiness to others, we increase our own joy.
Of course, the joy we get from serving the needs of other people isn’t the motivating factor — it’s the wonderful side effect.
This is one of the reasons I’ve taken on more coaching clients: not only am I visibly helping them change and grow, but I derive immense satisfaction from seeing them learn.
When they express what’s important to them — not only in the sense of their goals, but what their values and principles are — it becomes easier to help them embrace behaviors that reflect that.
I recently came across a list of 25 principles that take into account many of these aspects and that could easily be used as a guide for leadership (and life) behaviors:
Be patient. No matter what.
Don't bad-mouth: assign responsibility, not blame. Same nothing of another you wouldn’t say to him.
Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.
Expand your sense of the possible.
Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.
Expect no more of anyone than you can deliver yourself.
Tolerate ambiguity.
Laugh at yourself frequently.
Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right.
Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
Give up blood sports.
Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Don’t risk it frivolously.
Never lie to anyone for any reason. (Lies of omission are sometimes exempt.)
Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.
Praise at least as often as you disparage.
Admit your errors freely and soon.
Become less suspicious of joy.
Understand humility.
Remember that love forgives everything.
Foster dignity.
Live memorably.
Love yourself.
Endure.
There’s so much wisdom in this list of “Principles of Adult Behavior,” as written by John Perry Barlow in 1977, particularly as it relates to being a better leader.
Focusing on others, having dignity and humility, practicing patience, developing a sense of humor, expressing vulnerability, and having a sense of purpose — all of these make for great leaders.
Once you can find your purpose and link it up with what you do, you’ll find a world of possibilities.
“A mind always employed is always happy. This is the true secret, the grand recipe for felicity.” — Thomas Jefferson, 1787
The Impossible Dream
How have we come to build a whole culture around a futile, self-defeating enterprise: the pursuit of happiness? (Lapham’s Quarterly)
Sprinkle a little ancient philosophy into your daily routines
Culture and popular opinion lead us to believe that happiness can be bought, that more is always better, and that success carries more weight than integrity. (Psyche)
Don’t wish for happiness. Work for it.
If you want to improve your well-being, you need to make a plan and act on it. (The Atlantic)
“Happiness (as the mathematicians might say) lies on a curve, and we approach it only by asymptote.” — Christopher Morley, 1919
Helen Garner on happiness
“It’s taken me 80 years to figure out it’s not a tranquil, sunlit realm…I’m going to settle for small, random stabs of extreme interestingness—moments of intense awareness of the things I’m about to lose, and of gladness that they exist.” (The Guardian)
Re-wild yourself
You didn’t evolve to live in this techno-industrialized world. Find health and happiness by embracing your wild nature. (Psyche)
The happiest areas on the planet
No, its not Disneyland. The U.S. dropped from 15th to 23rd in the World Happiness Report by Gallup. The area that topped the list showed high levels of social support and healthy life expectancy. Can you guess where it is? (NPR)
There’s so much to learn,
“Pursuing Happiness,” Timeless & Timely (March 20, 2024)