The People That Don’t Fit In

I like you just the way you are

Greyed Rainbow by Jackson Pollock, 1955 (Flickr - CC BY 2.0 DEED)

Welcome to Timeless & Timely, where we let our curiosity roam throughout history to find inspiration to help us learn about ourselves today. This is an extra edition, just for our paid subscribers — a community we call the Ampersand Guild. You can unlock this by becoming a member today:

“Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently.” — Rosa Luxemburg, 1918

Growing up, I was always a little different.

I related better with older generations than my own. The albums I listened to were classical, soundtracks, and comedy legends. I had braces that required me to wear headgear (that ridiculous metal contraption that encircled my face). I played the accordion — the accordion, for God’s sake!

Let’s just say I had trouble fitting in.

Even now, this newsletter and my approach to executive coaching is hardly typical, with its focus on history, literature, and philosophy. I mean, who does that?

Someone who’s different and knows that difference sets him apart, that’s who.

“When you went to Adams you might've been called a spazz, or a dork, or a geek. Any of you that have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you think you're a nerd or not, why don't you just come down here and join us.” —  Revenge of the Nerds, 1984

Kind of like my friend Peter.

Peter grew up being labeled as different, talking out of turn in class, and generally doing things that seemed normal to his brain that just seemed odd to everyone else.

As you might expect, Peter eventually learned he had ADHD, which became a superpower for him. He even wrote two books about it: Faster Than Normal and The Boy with the Faster Brain. (There’s a link to our conversation in the Recommended section below.)

And Peter has leaned into it, as he now speaks to groups about neurodiversity and its power to help employers benefit from having employees who are different. He’s even planning a two-day event this fall on neurodiversity for caregivers and in the workforce.

Not everyone is like Peter. Not everyone understands how to recognize, understand, and embrace people who are different.

As I noted in the previous entry, sometimes people want to exclude those who are dissimilar.

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Making Room for Others

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But why are they not like us? What makes them different? Maybe it’s how they look or dress, or the way they act or speak.

Or maybe it’s because they haven’t yet found what’s right for them, and are awkward or not skilled at what they’re currently engaged in.

What an opportunity that is!

If it weren’t for the uniqueness of Ludwig van Beethoven, Jackson Pollock, or Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, we’d be missing out on some inspirational music, art, and architecture.

Just think: you might have an opportunity to help guide someone toward a line of work that taps into their strengths, rather than forcing them to fight to improve weaknesses.

Someone with ADHD might be terrible at proofreading or other activities that require quiet, detailed analysis. But ask them to take on a new project or design something they think would improve an experience, and they might jump at the chance.

In these cases, what’s different about them could be the very thing that makes them more successful.

It reminds me of a poem from Robert W. Service, who spent a few years in the Yukon during the gold rush, earning him the nickname “the Bard of the Yukon.”

Service held many jobs and traveled widely over the course of his career, never quite fitting in. It made me think this poem was inspired not only by some of the men he saw in the Yukon, but that it was also autobiographical in nature.