Nine Powerful Things You Can Control

Don't worry

Olympus: The Fall of the Giants by Francisco Bayeu y Subías, 1764 (public domain - Wikimedia Commons)

“The most hateful torment for men is to have knowledge of everything but power over nothing.” — Herodotus, c. 450 B.C.

In a world beset by uncertainty, where data breaches and weather outbreaks — as certain as death and taxes — portend personal- and societal-altering paths of destruction, it is heartening to find something we can control.

It is no mistake that the month of January was named for Janus, the Roman god of transitions. His gaze is forever fixed simultaneously forward and backward, goading you to make those New Year’s resolutions as you hope to achieve escape velocity to correct that imperfection you’ve noted.

In January, I implored you to Hang Onto Your Hat¹ and lead with hope, for it is hope rather than fear that lights our way to the future. Fear holds us back.

Fear rooted in our lack of control is one of the constant anxieties in a world beset by war, climate change, political upheaval, market uncertainty, and the rise of the machines.

In that January missive, one of the suggestions was to control what you can:

There will always be factors that are outside of our realm of control. We can’t control what others do or think. We can’t control external forces. But we can control our reaction to them.

We are in command of our own minds. And by focusing our efforts on what we can control, we offer up more hope.

Whether you’re grieving over the loss of a parent, struggling with a child leaving for college, stressing over an investor pitch, berating yourself for an unkind moment with a friend, worrying about the future, or any other flavor of the paranoid rainbow, there is hope.

I’ve gathered the wisdom of other Substack writers (and a couple from the fertile ground of Timeless & Timely) to provide you with some ideas to create more certainty — or at the very least to give you power at times when you feel powerless.

Nine Powerful Things You Can Control

1. Rest

2. Kindness

3. Meditation

4. Vulnerability

5. Healing yourself

6. Being honest with others

7. Embracing lifelong growth

8. Fostering deep connections

9. Giving without wanting in return

Rest

Without adequate rest, our bodies and brains don’t function as well as they otherwise might. Stress and anxiety, tied to our ancient need for survival, are keep us wired and awake, but starving ourselves of rest is detrimental.

Dr. Lucy McBride Are You Okay? provides four ingredients for a good night’s sleep:

“The ingredients for a good night’s sleep fall into four categories: Environmental, Behavioral, Psychological, and Biomedical. Each is important, and getting all four elements working together is a recipe for success.”

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Kindness

The world could use more kindness, if for anything else than as an antidote to the cruelty we see every day. Hardcore Kindness, even:

“In the face of constant pressures from various stakeholders, it can be a challenge to slow things down and make a concentrated effort to express caring and concern for our employees.

Hardcore kindness sure beats hardcore cruelty.”

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Meditation

How effortless it is to endlessly scroll on our phones, or to spend our evenings browsing Netflix for what it is we don’t know we want to watch.

But what if we took a little time each day to spend with our own thoughts, reflecting or meditating? You can make reflection a daily habit with a handful of steps.

“The benefits of reflection done well include clarity of mind, less volatile knee-jerk reactions to things, and deeper relationships.”

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Vulnerability

Being vulnerable and admitting mistakes can seem difficult, particularly in a world of harsh criticism and cruelty.

Guy Kawasaki of Remarkable People shows us How to Apologize that vulnerability can be rewarding:

“Many people find it hard to apologize because they see it as a sign of weakness. However, research shows that leaders who apologize are judged more favorably than those who do not. Admitting mistakes actually enhances your credibility and shows strength of character.”

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Healing yourself

Working on yourself is some of the hardest work you’ll ever do. But it’s also the most rewarding.

In Letters of Note, Shaun Usher explores missives from throughout history. In a recent one, we find a poignant and touching note from Joe Biden to a young stutterer, encouraging him to work on himself, just as Biden had as a young man.

“Remember what I told you about stuttering. You can beat it just like I did. When you do, you will be a stronger man having won. Also remember, every time you are tempted to make fun of someone with a problem, how it feels when you are made fun of. Treat everyone with respect and you will be respected yourself.”

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Being honest with others

Honesty is one of the ingredients of an essential character strength, integrity.

Admired Leadership has a wonderful daily cadence of emails to inspire leaders. Here they remind us of the connection between integrity and honesty:

“Integrity is easy to see, hard to define, and exceedingly difficult to assess. We reserve the label of “integrity” for those who treat situations and people with honesty, consistency, and fairness. A reputation for integrity is earned every day through actions, choices, and decisions.”

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Embracing lifelong growth

As you know, I love learning and I love sharing with others what I learn.

Brian Clark at Longevity Gains is of a similar disposition, and his focus is on extending the learning for an ageing population, showing them the respect and attention they deserve. He gives us An Introduction to Long-Life Learning:

“In short, constant learning opportunities are something older consumers both need and want. And given the concentration of wealth held by the more seasoned generations, they have the money to invest in becoming better versions of themselves both professionally and personally.”

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Fostering deep connections

With so many digital and physical distractions in our lives, relationships can fade in prominence. But researchers have shown that having deep and healthy friendships and connections can improve our outlook, health, and disposition.

Beth Collier in her Curious Minds newsletter gives us a timely story from the Olympic Games of the past — Medals of Friendship is a story of two friends and athletes who tied in pole vaulting, leading to them ask if they could share the silver medal:

“The two friends took their medals to a jeweler, and asked that they be cut in half and then fused into two new medals: each half-silver and half-bronze.

These medals would come to be known as the “Medals of Friendship.””

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Giving without wanting in return

If we want those deeper connections, it requires us to go beyond a friendship of utility — one of the three levels of friendship that is transactional and benefits only one side.

The Future Does Not Fit In The Containers Of The Past is itself a wonderful gift that Rishad Tobaccowala gives us weekly. Entirely free and filled with advice for your career and your soul. As he wisely observed in Generosity as a Strategy:

“Generosity makes for a better life for not just the recipient but also to the giver.”

With this ennead of newsletter entries, I hope you find some that provide a calming effect and give you a sense of control.

Drop a note and let me know which resonated with you.

Meanwhile, keep close the counsel of Seneca, who wisely observed:

“The present is short and the future is doubtful—only the past is certain.”

There’s so much to learn,

1. Hang Onto Your Hat: How to lead with hope when it's needed most