The Chaos

The English language is like a box of chocolates

Welcome to “Off the Clock,” a little something that lands somewhere between Timeless & Timely.

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Christ in Limbo by a follower of Hieronymous Bosch, c. 1550 (public domain — CC BY 1.0)

“Language is a part of our organism and no less complicated than it.”
— Ludwig Wittgenstein, 1915

Chaos seems to be the new normal. Uncertainty reigns and no one can figure out what’s coming next.

To take your mind off of the existential chaos of reality, I thought we might explore the poem “The Chaos” by Gerard Nolst Trenité.

Written in 1920, it captures 800 or so of the irregularities in the English language, demonstrating how unpredictable pronunciation can be — particularly from the perspective of a non-English speaker who is trying to learn the language.

Most languages have patterns or vowel sounds that are predictable and logical. English gives you a false sense of security before pulling the rug out from under you and making you smack the back of your head on the hard floor.

And “The Chaos” captures those terrible surprises.

Just for fun, try reading it aloud.

The Chaos

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.