Gratitude Should Not Be Transactional

Gratitude exists at the intersection of reflection and kindness.

“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” — Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

As we’re deluged with messages of gratitude and thankfulness — from brands, emails, books, and the like — it all seems to be so mechanical.

Someone says this, you say that.

Make a gesture, then reap the reward.

That’s not what the true spirit of gratitude is about. There’s a difference between thankfulness and gratitude.

We teach children to say “thank you” when someone says something nice or does something for them. It’s proper etiquette. But at its core, it’s reactive.

Gratitude, on the other hand, is a deeper consideration. It’s a two-step process: first, we see goodness and affirm it, and then we recognize that goodness is external — it comes to us.

We can be thankful as a part of practicing gratitude, but gratitude is a beha…