Steward, Not a Star
Service is about others
“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” — C.S. Lewis, 1952
Look out for leaders who make it all about them.
To a certain extent, many high-performing individuals who inhabit leadership roles have personality traits that are part of the dark triad: narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism.
Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity, pride, egotism, and a lack of empathy.
Machiavellianism is characterized by the manipulation and exploitation of others, indifference to morality, lack of empathy, and a calculated focus on self-interest.
Psychopathy is characterized by continuous antisocial behavior, impulsivity, selfishness, callous and unemotional traits, and remorselessness.
High scores in these traits have been found to statistically increase a person’s likelihood to commit crimes, cause social distress, and create severe problems for organizations, especially if they are in leadership positions.1
I’m certain you can name at least one or two high-profile individuals who fit this description.
How do you think it would feel to work with these people? Do you think you’d be appreciated? Would you be celebrated? Would you feel cared about?
In the latest episode of Timeless Leadership, I was fortunate to speak with
, author of Making the Presidency: John Adams and the Precedents that Forged the Republic and Executive Director of the George Washington Presidential Library.In our talk, she mentioned how a number of people — including George Washington and John Adams — made decisions that were not necessarily popular, but did so because of the greater good.
These leaders were able to think beyond themselves. They knew that their role, like any leader’s role, is to be a steward.
When a leader is a steward, that means they recognize that they serve a greater good. And their role is fleeting — one with which they’ve been entrusted, as a temporary owner — knowing that they must pass the reins along to the next inhabitant of that role.
And when we know that something is temporary and that others are relying on us, it instills in us a sense of awe and responsibility.
A Citizen, Not a Caesar; A President, Not a King
When the Revolutionary War concluded, George Washington handed in his commission, stepping down as the head of the Continental Army, which was atypical.
Tom Nichols writes in The Atlantic:
“Popular military leaders can become a menace to a democratic government if they have the loyalty of their soldiers, the love of the citizenry, and a government too weak to defend itself. Even before his victory in the Revolutionary War, Washington had all of these, and yet he chose to be a citizen rather than a Caesar.”
Washington would repeat that process when he stepped down from the presidency at the end of his second term, earning him undying respect and setting the tone for future presidents.
He didn’t want anyone to think that the new position would be akin to what Americans had just fought to escape, and when John Adams suggested Washington be addressed as “His Highness, the President of the United States of America, and Protector of their Liberties,” Washington went with the simpler “President of the United States.”
This summer, Joe Biden removed himself from the Democratic ticket for the 2024 presidential race in a profound gesture of selflessness after 50 years of public service to his country.
It shouldn’t be difficult it is to put service over self, but when the ego sees the trappings of power and adulation, it’s tempting to feed it.
Nichols again:
“Washington fought for the office rather than its occupant. Sharply cognizant that his every action could constitute a precedent, he tried through his conduct to imbue the presidency with the strength of his own character. He took pains not to favor his relatives and friends as he made political appointments, and he shunned gifts, fearing that they might be seen as bribes. He mostly succeeded: Those who came after him were constrained by his example, even if at times unwillingly, at least until the election of 2016.”
Resist that temptation and always remember: leadership is about service. We are called to serve others. Whether were serving as heads of our household, our community group, or a company, we are all doing so because someone saw something special in us that others need.
It is an honor to be selected to serve.
And in doing so, we are stewards, not stars.
There’s so much to learn,
Further reading
Ego Is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday, 2016 (Amazon | Bookshop.org)
O'Boyle Jr, Ernest H.; Forsynth, Donelson R.; Banks, George C.; McDaniel, Michael A. (2012). "A Meta-Analysis of the Dark Triad and Work Behavior: A Social Exchange Perspective". Applied Psychology. 97 (3): 557–579.