If Only

Small kindnesses show what really matters

Kitchen Scene by Peter Wtewael, 1620s (public domain - Metropolitan Museum of Art)

“A multitude of small delights constitute happiness.” — Charles Baudelaire, 1897

If only I had a better salary, I’d feel secure.

If only I had a bigger house, I’d be content.

If only I got that promotion, I’d be happier.

If only… If only…

We seem to predicate how we feel and how we live our lives based on tangibles and outcomes.

As if there were some end goal, some final state of being that we could attain if we possessed something or passed a level—a real-life version of the internet phrase “Achievement unlocked!”

Humans are a strange species. Our brains trick us all the time, and in the strangest ways.

They tell us that if only we got what we wanted, we’d be happy. That a change in circumstances would make us satisfied.

Think about that for a moment. If your desires are fulfilled — more money, a different house, a different job, a vacation, an ice cream cone, a single malt whisky— does that keep you happy and satisfied?

Likely not.

Your circumstances change briefly, but then you find you’re back to saying “if only…” again.

So what’s the solution?