How to Respond to an Act of Disrespect

Don’t add to the indignity of the situation

Washington Crossing the Delaware by Emanuel Lutze, 1851 (Wikipedia - public domain)

“Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.” — Thomas Paine

Have you ever found yourself speechless?

Maybe you find yourself in a familiar situation and someone — most likely someone familiar or close to you — says something completely unexpected.

You’re left with a sense of unease, feeling as if you’ve been knocked off-balance. Your mind swirls, your heart beats quickly, and you struggle for words as you try to recover from this verbal blow.

It’s a lamentable scenario, as someone has put you on the spot. What’s the best way to respond in such a situation?

I was recently reading about just such an occurrence in the life of George Washington that illustrated this perfectly.

In Valiant Ambition: George Washington, Benedict Arnold, and the Fate of the American Revolution, Nathaniel Philbrick recounted a time when the general was faced with just such a dilemma.

It was December 1776 and morale was flagging. Volunteer troops had promised to join the Continental Army for a year, and their time was nearly up. Washington was desperately trying to give this assembled group some confidence following defeats in New York and New Jersey, and the crossing of the Delaware was just days away; the Battle of Trenton would happen in a few weeks.

During this period, he opened a letter Major General Charles Lee, his second in command, addressed to Adjutant General Joseph Reed, assuming it was official business. Reed was, up until that time, one of Washington’s trusted colleagues. What Washington found set him on his heels.