How to Make Reflection Part of Your Daily Habit

The best leaders know themselves well. And that means taking time to reflect.

Echo and Narcissus by John William Waterhouse, 1903 (Wikipedia - public domain)

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” — Søren Kierkegaard

When a new year comes upon us, it seems like everyone tries to outdo each other with memories of the past year (or worse — the past decade!)

Reflection isn’t something that needs our attention once a year. It’s a habit and should be developed like any other habit.

If done well, it can result in clarity of mind, a less volatile knee-jerk reaction to things, and deeper relationships.

Why is it that we find reflection so difficult?

For one, there are so many distractions to occupy us.

Opening the phone and going on an infinite scroll down the screen is a soothing but mindless activity. As is swiping left or right. Or tapping the little colored blocks or jewels that are part of that game you like.

When we have frictionless distractions, those provide a welcome and easy escape from the hard work that reflection requires.

Self-improvement is difficult. It requires work. It takes commitment over time to take hold.

And whether it’s work-related or personal, taking a good hard look at yourself is part of emotional intelligence that makes us desirable to be around.

The best leaders, friends, and partners are those who know themselves well. And the only way to know yourself is to spend quiet time alone.

And still, we fall for the annual “let’s look back as we prepare to look ahead” posts and exercises — as if these are enough to fill the gap from throughout the year.

Anyone who’s received an annual performance review that seems like it comes from out of left field should be familiar with that feeling.

You sit down, either completely clueless about what's about to be said, or firmly believing it’s going one way, when — WHAM! — you’re hit with an assessment that you didn’t see coming.

Good leaders are always communicating with their peers and direct reports. There should be no surprises.

And good communication requires constant reflection.

There’s no single best way to reflect and be introspective. You'll need to find what works best for you. But here are a few ideas to get you started.