Good Grief

Ways to help those around you who are suffering

The Funeral Games of Patroclus by Jacques-Louis David, 1778 (Wikimedia Commons - public domain)

“Grief, loss, regret are not the end of the story. They are the middle of the story. Memory does not look backward, it looks forward.” — Anne Michaels, 2020

I had some bad news over the weekend.

A friend of 25 years shared an update regarding an illness she’s been battling—news that was startling and unsettling to read. In particular, I was struck by her ability to tackle the subject in a matter-of-fact way, without a plea for pity or intercession, nor with an attempt to side-step reality.

In a few short sentences, she was able to state the facts, anticipate our emotions, and share her grace and peace about the situation. It was truly one of the most remarkable notes about a pending end-of-life issue I’ve ever read.

It was shocking and difficult to absorb the message, but as I’ve reread it dozens of times, I find myself reassured and in some ways content with the gift she gave to her friend…